"Duct Tape" Quotes . Top 33 Short Quotes About "Duct Tape"

"People who leave their cars on the street with tape covering their broken windows are obviously too trusting. I mean, when your car did have glass for a window, someone broke into it. How is tape any more of a deterrent? What are the thieves going to say? Ooh, that like looks like duct tape, we can't beat that. Let's look for one with scotch or masking."

--- Aaron Karo

#People #Mean #Tape

"I'm being accused of being a murderer! I'M being ACCUSED of being a molester!... They say my idea of a fun day is a dark lonely field and the urunj of a car, and a large stick and a roll of duct tape! My MOM shops at Wal-Mart! She gets calls all the time now; she's worried about me! I'm not the most emotionally stable guy in the world; I'll admit that... I do have some problems, but my God, I'm not a murderer!"

--- Al Snow

#Tape #Fields #Duct Tape

"Duct tape works anywhere. Duct tape is magic and should be worshiped."

--- Andy Weir

#Tape #Duct Tape #Magic

"They’ve taken their own precautions against Al Qaeda. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house."

--- Argus Hamilton

#Tape #Duct Tape #Taken

"They told us to buy duct tape and portable radios so that if the world does end, we can all listen to Rush Limbaugh blame it on Clinton."

--- Bill Maher

#Tape #Duct Tape #Ends

"Javascript is the duct tape of the Internet."

--- Charlie Campbell

#Tape #Duct Tape #Internet

"Duct tape. Perfect weapon; so many uses."

--- Taylor Stevens

#Tape #Duct Tape #Weapons

"I can't stop some idiot from crashing into a building or blowing up a bus, I can only be your dad and give you a few pure truths. Number one, duct tape will save your life. Number two, Tupac is alive, but I need you to keep that on the DL because of Suge. And number three, don't be afraid of anything - except the television news because they're lying to you every night."

--- Christopher Titus

#Bus #I Can #Tape

"Why would we ever want to go back when your world is so accommodating with your telephones and your guns and what's that sticky stuff called ...duct tape."

--- Cornelia Funke

#Tape #Duct Tape #Sticky

"What's that sticky stuff called? Basta: Duct tape. Yes, duct tape. I love duct tape."

--- Cornelia Funke

#Tape #Duct Tape #Sticky

"Today Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge lowered the terror alert from orange to yellow. Does anybody need 16 miles of duct tape?"

--- Craig Kilborn

#Security #Tape #Duct Tape

"After the 9/11 attacks, I dutifully stocked up on rolls of duct tape and N-95 masks, as the government recommended."

--- Dana Milbank

#Tape #Duct Tape #Mask

"When I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape.--T-SHIRT"

--- Darynda Jones

#Tape #Remove #Duct Tape

"Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers."

--- Dave Barry

#Fundamentals #Tape #Duct Tape

"Public service announcement: In case of a terrorist attack, bottled water and duct tape are not going to do a damn thing. So do what Homeland Security Dir. Tom Ridge does: Get really drunk, and pick up a hooker."

--- David Letterman

#Security #Tape #Get Real

"You can never have too much sky."

--- Sandra Cisneros

#Flipping A Coin #Garlic #Duct Tape

"I'll say this about the war protesters: At least most of them are only putting duct tape across their mouths so I can still tell the rest of them to blow it out their ass."

--- Dennis Miller

#I Can #Tape #Duct Tape

"Don't ever use duct tape on your privates. That's what I always tell people."

--- Rob Huebel

#People #Tape #Duct Tape

"I seriously needed an extra-strength magic pillow, because my ba refused to stay put. [And no, Sadie, I don't think wrapping my head in duct tape would've worked either.]"

--- Rick Riordan

#Thinking #Extras #Tape

"One down," Beckendorf said. "About five thousand to go." He tossed me a jar of thick green liquid—Greek fire, one of the most dangerous magical substances in the world. Then he threw me another essential tool of demigod heroes—duct tape"

--- Rick Riordan

#Green #Tape #Duct Tape

"He slung off his backpack. He'd managed to grab a lot of supplies at the Napa Bargain Mart: a portable GPS, duct tape, lighter, superglue, water bottle, camping roll, a Comfy Panda Pillow Pet (as seen on TV), and a Swiss army knife—pretty much every tool a modern demigod could want."

--- Rick Riordan

#Pandas #Lighters #Tape

"Stop smiling!” she ordered. “I can see you, Carter. Oh…and, uh, hullo, Walt.” The pot monster made squeaky grinding noises as it stood up straight. One clunky arm rose and tried to fix Sadie’s nonexistent hair. Leave it to Sadie to be self-conscious around boys, even when she’s made out of pots and duct tape."

--- Rick Riordan

#I Can #Tape #Noise

"Philosophers get attention only when they appear to be doing something sinister - corrupting the youth, undermining the foundations of civilization, sneering at all we hold dear. The rest of the time everybody assumes that they are hard at work somewhere down in the sub-basement, keeping those foundations in good repair. Nobody much cares what brand of intellectual duct tape is being used."

--- Richard Rorty

#Youth #Sinister #Tape

"Part of any serious QA is removing Perl code the same way you go over a dilapidated building you inherit to remove chewing gum and duct tape and fix whatever was kept together for real."

--- Erik Naggum

#Tape #Remove #Duct Tape

"I love my dad. He used to walk around the whole neighborhood and collect old furniture and fix it, like MacGyver with duct tape. One time, he brought a television home. I said, 'Damn, that TV has 500 channels.' When I got older, it didn't have 500 channels - it was a knob from the oven. My favorite channel was 300 degrees."

--- Felipe Esparza

#Tape #Duct Tape #Said

"All solutions are temporary, so why not go for duct tape?"

--- Garrison Keillor

#Tape #Solutions #Duct Tape

"Once you duct-tape a Ziploc bag to a man's chest, there's no going back."

--- Orson Scott Card

#Tape #Duct Tape #Politics

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and it holds the world together."

--- Oprah Winfrey

#Tape #Duct Tape #Together

"But just now, he'd gotten on his knees and proposed marriage, like in a television commercial for a diamond ring. Except of course they had the roll of duct tape instead, which, when you came to think about it, was a far more practical item. Such a bad mistake it would be, to embark on marriage and adult life without a nice supply of duct tape."

--- Nancy Werlin

#Thinking #Diamond Rings #Tape

"Such a bad mistake it would be, to embark on marriage and adult life without a nice supply of duct tape."

--- Nancy Werlin

#Tape #Duct Tape #Nice

"A smile and a laugh are the duct tape of life; they can fix anything."

--- Mike Wallace

#Tape #Duct Tape #Motivational

"We live in the time where we have fictitious election results that elects a fictitious president. We live in a time where we have a man sending us to war for fictitious reasons. Whether it's the fictition of duct tape or fictition of orange alerts we are against this war, Mr. Bush. Shame on you. Mr. Bush, shame on you. And any time you got the Pope and the Dixie Chicks against you, your time is up."

--- Michael Moore

#Reason #Tape #Duct Tape

"Duct tape is not a perfect solution to anything. But with a little creativity, in a pinch, it's an adequate solution to just about everything."

--- Jamie Hyneman

#Tape #Solutions #Duct Tape

33 "Duct Tape" Quotes