"Funny Mothers Day" Quotes . Top 33 Short Quotes About "Funny Mothers Day"

"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life."

--- Abraham Lincoln

#Mother And Son #Happy Mothers Day #Wonderful Mother

"Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly."

--- Ambrose Bierce

#Childhood #Sweaters #Happy Mothers Day

"Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own."

--- Aristotle

#Happy Mothers Day #Mothers Day Cards #Mothers Day Messages

"Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws."

--- Barbara Kingsolver

#Happy Mothers Day #Mothers Day Messages #Mother And Daughter

"My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia"

--- Barry Humphries

#Friendship #Security #Mets

"Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children."

--- William Makepeace Thackeray

#Happy Mothers Day #Wonderful Mother #Mothers Day Cards

"Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age."

--- William Feather

#Parenthood #Happy Mothers Day #Wonderful Mother

"OF COURSE I'd like to be the ideal mother. But I'm too busy raising children."

--- Bil Keane

#Ideals #Raising Children #Courses

"There is nothing in the world of art like the songs mother used to sing."

--- Billy Sunday

#Happy Mothers Day #Mothers Day Messages #Being A Mom

"My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh."

--- Bob Monkhouse

#Said #Being A Mom #Mother

"As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."

--- Buddy Hackett

#Being Irish #Two Choices #Humorous

"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."

--- Calvin Trillin

#Parenthood #Happy Mothers Day #Mothers Day Cards

"My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance."

--- Tim Allen

#Reason #Said #Care

"Mama was my greatest teacher, a teacher of compassion, love and fearlessness. If love is sweet as a flower, then my mother is that sweet flower of love."

--- Stevie Wonder

#Happy Mothers Day #Love My Mom #Love Being A Mom

"Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children."

--- Sam Levenson

#Parenthood #Happy Mothers Day #Raising Children

"God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers."

--- Rudyard Kipling

#Greatness Of God #Happy Mothers Day #Wonderful Mother

"A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary."

--- Dorothy Canfield Fisher

#Happy Mothers Day #Love Being A Mom #Wife Mother

"Parenthood is the passing of a baton, followed by a lifelong disagreement as to who dropped it."

--- Robert Breault

#Parenthood #Lifelong #Passings

"Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them."

--- Rita Rudner

#Daughter #Air #Mother

"My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow."

--- Rita Rudner

#Thanksgiving Funny #Thanksgiving Holiday #Thanksgiving

"When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out."

--- Erma Bombeck

#Parenthood #Raising Children #Raising A Family

"When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway."

--- Erma Bombeck

#Mere #Wonderful Mother #Mother Love

"Men are what their mothers made them."

--- Ralph Waldo Emerson

#Success #Mother And Son #Happy Mothers Day

"No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement."

--- Florida Scott-Maxwell

#Happy Mothers Day #Wonderful Mother #Mothers Day Messages

"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them."

--- Phyllis Diller

#Happy Mothers Day #Mothers Day Cards #Mother Love

"It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge."

--- Phyllis Diller

#Mean #Happy Mothers Day #Being A Mother

"A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after."

--- Peter De Vries

#Bad Mother #Mother And Son #Happy Mothers Day

"Some are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same, and most mothers kiss and scold together."

--- Pearl S. Buck

#Godly Mothers #Mother And Son #Love My Mom

"Most mothers kiss and scold together."

--- Pearl S. Buck

#Godly Mothers #Mother And Son #Happy Mothers Day

"I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli."

--- George H. W. Bush

#Vegetables #Made #Havens

"I'm President of the United States, and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli!"

--- George H. W. Bush

#Vegetables #United #United States

"I'm a mother with two small children, so I don't take as much crap as I used to."

--- Pamela Anderson

#Small Child #Used #Mother

"Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs."

--- P. J. O'Rourke

#Fishing #Lakes #Animal

33 "Funny Mothers Day" Quotes